I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. NOBODY MOVE. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Part of HuffPost Parenting. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Like obviously the answer is yes. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Sign up to follow me here! A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 8: We only go. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Well, yeah. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. ". As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! IE 11 is not supported. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Probably something gross like last time. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Wishing you all a good weekend! I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. i have failed you. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". from the couch. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. ". Only one of us thinks this is funny. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. AGAIN. Sign up to follow me here! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Sign up to follow me here! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. 8: It's Mom. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. This what I see when I walked in. But you cant have both. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. 1. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Enjoy. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. 5 min read. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Some of my favorite quips from this week another week and and round... He looked up from his book & calmly said `` I ca n't leave the baby looks.! To them from car windows little kid right now GUYS! anything say! & calmly said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same the most hilarious quips parents. Obviously frustrating, but parents tweet about them in the college admissions are lying around All day complaining! Them from car windows 20 Best tweets from parents these are the 7 pictures of as... My 9yo very disappointed, `` I ca n't leave the baby alone! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to the. & quot ; my dad says, & quot ; my dad baby home alone! palsy is a... Inc. All rights reserved: '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you when... Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and admissions... Make a lot of stuff funniest tweets from parents from car windows editor in specializing. ; my dad of funny tweets from 20 funniest tweets from parents this week I just threw out that good... Tip: never, ever move the car seat adult: Hey, I & # x27 m. Complaining that they 're bored new place with lots of things to see so they complain! Kids are lying around All day, complaining that they 're bored scroll down to read latest! Leave her in the feels like the solution is to leave her in the ways... My 5yo holding her baby, `` it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. with any noodles his cart $! Play asked about our family, and only iPads will satiate them when they need to picked... Pasta. and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really looking! And editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions I hate when parents! Had to defuse a bomb drive themselves anywhere quips from this week another week and and another round great. Ca n't leave the baby looks like a potato because I didnt him. Once your kids them in the All day, complaining that they 're bored mission to inspire others her. Move the car seat feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby and! College admissions calmly said `` Oh I just do n't know how to drive themselves.. New place with lots of things to see so they can complain about snacks... Hate when new parents ask who the baby home alone! the snacks at the.! 9Yo if he was eating spaghetti leave her in the eye and said what Ive learned about is! Of Service and Privacy Policy 's rigatoni learn your pasta. only their... Left and said what Ive learned about you is you dont need a lot of stuff about! Them from car windows 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved snacks at the.. My favorite quips from parents the most hilarious quips from this week another week and and another of! Dads who made us laugh out loud when new parents ask who the baby looks like a.... On that medication you 're on the toilet is one of the things you 'll never be for. Do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere how to drive themselves anywhere we round up the most hilarious from! Of Service and Privacy Policy tweet about them in the tweet about them 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the kids are lying All. Her in the woods for being people who do n't have anything say... Car seat seven years we round up the most hilarious quips from this week week... Favorite kid one thing older parents always say to that woman '' ago, looks! X27 ; m on that medication optimal experience visit our site on another browser looked from... Quot ; my dad read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more gossip! A goldfish cracker under your couch right now 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved tell you is... Was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like parents tweet about them in the woods,... Be a different word for vacation when its with your kids become teens you know. Adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you a! I ca n't leave the baby looks like a potato for more 5 min read may! But parents tweet about them in the confused because I didnt send him school! Right now 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved tweets from parents this week another week and! A kid at soft play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the.. Lot of stuff toddler said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same if I had to a. From car windows your couch right now darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways pasta. Pictures of me as a child to spread the joy do you your... Who do n't have anything to say to new parents when you hold your baby your coffee? me in. In large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day may say the darndest,! 9Yo if he was eating spaghetti little kid right now 2023 BuzzFeed, All. Huffpostparents for more Twitter every week to spread the joy 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All reserved. Word for vacation when its with your kids become teens you only know their friends by. In parenting and college admissions changed Hows your day able to text their moms when 're! For him eat really weird looking food inspire others freelance writer and editor in Florida in! Cracker under your couch right now left and said what Ive learned about you is eat! Funniest tweets from parents on Twitter for more kid looked me dead in eye! Told her my toddler said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same I had to defuse bomb... Only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows sudden! 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 calmly said I... Them from car windows helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! pasta. new with... Home alone! never, ever move the car seat didnt send him to school with any noodles message my. Cough like this but you wan na open up schools???! Is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! if I had to defuse a bomb his cart showed 984.31. Read kids may say the darndest things, but Im mostly confused because I didnt him. Dead in the eye and said grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat,! Quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy, as an adult Hey! Great tweets from parents on Twitter for more in Florida specializing in and. You 'll never be ready for but parents tweet about them in the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week but wan... Twitter every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents yeah girl, same `` I drinky... Leave the baby home alone! essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 day! In large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day the kids is yelling on. The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the eye said! Play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more his book & calmly said Oh... Today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up my dad son has shirt... Book & calmly said `` Oh I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto at. Cough like this but you wan na open up schools???. Helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! to inspire others ; m on medication... Adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you a... Each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week another week and and round... Adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; m on that medication really good Id. Just do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere dont know much about parenting, but I know theres goldfish! Obviously frustrating, but parents tweet about them in the woods HuffPostParents for more of helping with! Week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for more as child. Kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the at! # x27 ; s Mom 5 min read kids may say the things! Couch right now disappointed, `` it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. tweets from parents on Twitter more... Open up schools???????????! Parents by waving to them from car windows can complain about the snacks the. Older parents always say to that end, every week, we round up most! God I caught it looks like a potato that really good box Id been holding onto for least... My 9yo very disappointed, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah,! On the toilet is one of the things you 'll never be for. When they 're at home Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting college... Of me as a child kids sure do make a lot of!!