Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. Weve said a word about emotionally absent mothers, but what about emotionally absent fathers? I know he doesn't own me, I don't know if he'll ever see it that way. Can you relate? 5 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected By Your Dad (And It's Affecting You Now), how feelings are managed in the relationship, discouraged from showing emotions other than anger, 5 Ways Your Abandonment Issues Are RUINING Your Relationship, unintentionally emotionally neglected you, emotional, verbal, physical or sexual abuse, address the effects of the abuse before you address the neglect, Woman Gets 'Hate' For Sharing How Her Current Husband Is Supporting Her Ex After He Served 7 Years In Prison, Mom Unsure What To Do After The Birth of Her Daughter Turns Her Partner Into A 'Woman Hater', Man Feels 'Torn' After His Fianc Attempts To Stop His Ex-Wife From Attending His Dad's Funeral They Share 2 Kids, The 3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them, 5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person, 10 Little Habits That Make You IRRESISTIBLY Attractive, You feel a bit awkward or uncomfortable when you are alone with your father, You feel that your dad doesnt actually know the real you, Your relationship with your father bland, or feels empty, You struggle to make conversation with your dad, You tend to snap (or feel angry) at your father, and then feel guilty or confused about it. While I can think of a dad doing anything to hurt his own child, am aware of things in the world. Click below to listen now. Work on being who you want to be, even when youre around people who have different opinions or make annoying remarks; that includes responding in ways that are suitable for you and beneficial to your functioning and health. i have the same thing happening. If you are a victim of child abuse or know someone who might be, call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 to speak with a professional crisis counselor. But there comes a time when this discomfort graduates from normal to unhealthy. If you don't want to be touched, you must speak up against it. To this day, Ill keep feeling abandonment or being ignored tucked away into a nice little drawer. I have always wondered how serious it actually was. TL;DR I've always felt uncomfortable around my dad and I really don't know why. When I was younger my dad and I were very close, he would always be very affectionate with me and as a young girl I didn't notice anything strange about it. Tldr: my dad touches me and is physically affectionate in ways that make me feel very uncomfortable (not sexual but he doesn't respect my wishes). Since the start of our relationship, as bf/gf, he would always tag me along on his family occasions and bring me to his hometown. Understanding your feelings and processing them can help you manage them in healthy ways. Here's a few examples of what I mean: I was sitting in the car with my God father (it was just me and him). Oops! If you feel uncomfortable, you should probably talk to your mom. Whatever the reason, oftentimes these behaviors by father figures can manifest in our adult lives as. If your family is toxic, feeling drained is your body's warning sign that this situation is not beneficial to you. In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. Places like churches, organization for youth or abused prevention, any place or organization that might be helpful, you should talk to them and inform you would want to keep it confidential so that they won't involve your father in this(in case they want to talk to both side.). This happens because many people try to manage the anxiety of everyone in their family instead of their own. But as I began to grow older, he continued to touch my stomach and butt and while cuddling me he would accidentally graze my chest, so I told him and his reaction was "you're my daughter, I do everything for you, if you can't love me then I'll learn to live without you" and other melodramatic bullshit about how I was being a bad daughter. Your mom is to blame as well for not stopping it. First I just want to apologize for your parents behavior, you have every right to feel the way you do and they are out of line for not being understanding. By Sanjana Gupta He had strange rules and payed attention to the weirdest details. I can't talk to them about it nor can I talk to my friends about it because I feel embarrassed. I have had a close call (coming up soon), but I feel uncomfortable around men older than 20. 1-800-4-A-CHILD, Please help me out too. I won't let anyone hurt me again, I really won't, and I hope no one gets hurt this way, especially by those they trust. Re: Always wondered if my father abused me. Cracking a joke or hammering something is healthy, adaptive and useful unless they are continually used as a way to avoid sorting through complex feelings, or feeling them. Then, to top it all off, they get mad at themselves for letting these things bother them. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? But two things are in play here; some parents actually do predate on their children, and currently it's very popular to assume that all men are up to no good, usually in a sexual way. my father does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip. Of course, no father is perfect, and no one expects perfection. My dad looked over and said "don't worry I'll get that". Conflict in the relationship with their father in childhood creates deep-rooted feelings of mistrust. In turn,it might be a little easier sitting down to dinner with your family. Definitely. I hope you can find a safe way out and can get help. And it took me 30-something years to find one strong enough to carry my baggage. Gigi J. Perhaps the people empaths find most difficult to deal with are egotistical types. Nina F. "When people get upset with me, I automatically assume it's my fault.". I know it wasnt my fault, but I still feel like if I knew what a healthy romantic relationship with a man was supposed to look like, maybe I wouldnt have been in that situation. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Responding to your feelings, and teaching you how to name, manage, express and use themsimply was not on his radar screen. He was semi violent when I was growing up ( would throw things, scream and rant, shove me/throw me down, held a pizza cutter up to my face in a blind rage once) and I know that a lot of his behavior is a result of his brain injury. Theyre spoiled rotten to the core, but theyre also super close to me. The former Disney Channel star teases plans for future music. You have to do things at your own pace. It makes me anxious and I blame myself even if Im not guilty of anything. Nina F. When people get upset with me, I automatically assume its my fault. Jennifer P. I tend to make desperate attempts to cling onto relationships in my life, particularly when they are new, and I am still unsure of the other persons feelings towards me. If you find yourself feeling ill while getting ready to meet them at grandmas house, you might have a problem. mine told me those things too :/, I googled my dad makes inappropriate comemnts And came to this thread. If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button. I mean, I did nearly get raped. What a lot of us unknowingly do is adjust our internal functioning to help keep our family in harmony, which has adverse effects on how we feel about ourselves. He's been a member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. I feel the same way , he's never done anything that felt akward to me but I hate being alone with him or my grandpa plus my dad walks around in his underwear in the summer .I hate having eye contact with him. Two things I never heard from my dad. Ray R. Now that Ive chosen [to be] single, Ive become disengaged from everyone except my children. He's visiting today and the same thing happened, he kept hovering around me and kissing me on my cheeks that when he finally let go I curled up on the floor and sobbed for a solid two hours. Essentially, their sense of self-vanishes in the presence of others, especially in the presence of family. I Hate My Dad: How to Cope When You Feel This Way. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit. Any thoughts or suggestions would be wonderful , thanks so much. I'm 19 years old and no longer live at home but I do see him sometimes, as I love my mom and he lives with her. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? I have always felt like I have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me. Please do speak to someone who wouldn't escalate the situation as I understand he is the primary provider in your house. I get confused by anyone being nice to me, to the point that I feel uncomfortable. Get out of there. It isn't your fault. Started February 23, By ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 22 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By Thank you for understanding ! May 30, 2014 | AAAA AskGramps Website, Life's Lessons | 5 comments, I dont know what to do and I dont want to be judgmental but I do want to help my family. This is something my parents did growing up so that we could talk about things that were hard to do face to face. 2. When something goes wrong, I focus on the negative and not all the positive I accomplished. Alan B. To choose your username either log in or sign up. It is absolutely unacceptable that he touches you without your consent, you have EVERY RIGHT to seek for your right and keep yourself healthy mentally and physically. When hed get drunk at christmas, he would come into my room and apologize for any bad behavior and kiss me on the neck. OP, you are NOT OVERREACTING. he was very controlling and the more I think about it the more I categorize this as emotional and verbal abuse. I'm so scared. My father has always been like that (minus the paranoia). Children who experience strong negative feelings toward their fathers tend to have trouble in their attachment to others as adults. Secondly You say he hasnt done anything and then state the exact thing your gut has singled out for the reason youre feeling this way. If you find yourself starting arguments with family members at the drop of a hat, its time to take a step back and reevaluate what is truly making you so angry. There is hope. The good night ritual may need to go since you're older now. I have always felt uncomfortable around my dad. As well certainly after you had stated again and again to him you do NOT wish to be touch, he still touches you then yes he is offensive and abusive no matter he is your father or not. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. He helped me get the info(whatsapp, facebook, text messages, call logs etc) I needed faster and cheaper than I had imagined. Yes teenage years are awkward for both kids and parents , but I get what you are talking about. Even just tuning out of the conversation for a minute might help neutralize the negativity. I even told her that my dad touched my butt when I was half asleep and she told me it might be just a dream. It used to affect me the opposite way when I was younger. Started October 26, 2022. In this article, we'll explore why the Goblin Mode dating strategy is such a success. I feel exactly the same way and I don't know what to do about it I feel like like I can't wear the things that all my friends wear because I am stared at and I don't feel safe wearing even just a t shirt around him or my brother. Dad left when I was 3, [when he and my mom] got divorced. This website is not owned by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon or LDS Church). Im 42. Your mom is also abusing you by making excises for keeping you in this situation. I've woken up crying a handful of times because of either of these two scenarios and had other episodes of depression because I just feel like a worthless soft toy. Maybe just try to relax a little bit. I feel embarrassed that my brain may be making up delusions because I'm dirty minded or that I'm an attention seeker. i feel like hes waiting for me to fall asleep to sexually do sum to me, I know this is from years ago but as a confused teen wondering about my own uncomfortability with my father for the same reasons i feel a great ease and sorrow at knowing im not alone. I've tried to bond with him but we always argue because we never get along well. 4 Reply _throwawayacc_1 3 yr. ago . Walking away from a family gathering feeling like youre not good enough is dangerous to your mental health and could cause serious depression. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. I haven't got kids but it's my inexperienced opinion that it's you fathers role to give you both security, guidance, and the freedom to grow on your own as an individual. 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